So I’m getting ready this morning for MaxFunCon (3D!) and what happens? The delivery truck shows up with my Apple Design Award! They brought it on a flatbed, so all the neighbors knew what it was pretty much immediately.
Once the movers left, I had to go grab my camera to show you guys:
Giving my award a hug:
Unfortunately, because there’s a step to enter the house, the movers had to leave it outside. Something about their contract. It’s bloody heavy.
Actually, I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to get it into the house.
I’m in a hurry this morning, to do airport runs and then get everyone out to the ‘Con, so I’ll just have to figure it out when I get back, I guess. I hope my roommates aren’t going to be mad. I had to just put it on a cinder block so it doesn’t kill as much of the lawn.
Apparently, one of my hobbies lately has been writing most of a new post and then saving it and then not finishing it at all. But what I wish my hobby had been lately is…
Polluting bittorrent trackers with copies of films that are indistinguishable from the original. Except that I’ve gone through and replaced any existing titles with virtually identical titles that match in content and size, motion, function, etc. And they’re in some asinine typeface like Mead Bold.
I’d sneak my way on to trackers under a variety of addresses and accounts, seed my copies of popular movies, and vanish into the night!
This would work especially well on movies where the title doesn’t display until the very end of the film. It’d be hard to check for, and make a lot of piratey people swear.
I can’t quite decide if it’s better on a serious movie or a ridiculous movie:
I like the laziness of this one:
And I suppose this was a given:
Now all I need is the maniacal fanbase that can spread out and do my evil bidding for me…
Don’t kid yourself, we’re living in the future over here.
Think of that storage! How many times could you store the data of your first hard drive on, for instance, your phone? Crazy.
It’s not like I’ve operated a punch card computer here, but the rate at which neat stuff passes us by is fantastic. (Although, as Louis CK reminds us, we’re still not happy.)
I noticed it today as I sometimes do – in an electronics store. And not for the first time. It’s happened to me before, in a gamestop, when an employee was trying to describe the then-elusive and sold-out classic controller accessory for the Wii. Because I’m very helpful, I jumped in and said it looks just like a Super Nintendo controller. Yeah, says the clerk, but with sticks. Kid customer turns to me then. ”What’s that?” What’s what? ”What’s a Super Nintendo?” Right. I’ll just be going now. Can’t be late for the bus back to the retirement center or I’m stuck in gamestop for a week.
Today, it was by my lonesome, in a Best Buy, checking out camcorders. And for around $100, I can get a thing that fits in my pocket and shoots 1080p. That’s one hundred United States Dollars. That’s crazy. And I considered it briefly. It’d be just fine to shoot some shorts for the internet, and I could do some post trickery and make it look perfectly usable – more than youtube needs, anyhow. The hardest part would be trying to get actors to take it seriously when it’s sitting on its tiny tripod. The SVHS shoulder mounted monstrosities I shot on at SCTV weighed a ton, but at least you had an air of authority during an interview.
And even then, what I was doing was more or less a technological miracle! This used to be so hard – at least by comparison. It used to require taking dozens of actual photographs per second! You had to wait until Thomas Edison invented a way to develop your film before you could even see what you’d shot! And what do we do with all this completely amazing stuff? Well, we do the exact same thing humans have been doing with motion picture technology for the past 120 years. If only Étienne-Jules Marey and his big luxurious beard could see what he’d started….
The delightful Mystery Science Theater 3000 is twenty-one Earth years of age. And, as a citizen of the United State of Minnesota, it’s now old enough to drink.
In order to celebrate, the good, kind, friendly people of DAPCentral’s IRC channel have prepared a list of MST-themed drinks to be served at your MST-themed drinking parties. Thanks and credit go to the likes of Minstrel, SoRefined, Candover, Moogle, Rhesus, Rumm, and Fnord.
Ring of Terror – vodka, lime and angostura bitters in tonic water and over ice.
Catalina Caper - KeKe Beach, rum, and mango juice.
Space Mutiny – Blue curacao with a raspberry vodka float.
Screaming Skull – Scotch, dry vermouth, triple sec with a twist of lemon.
The High School Bigshot – induces suicidal tendencies, so the recipe is not reproduced here, for your own safety.
When indulging in a night of MST-Shots, it is customary to set out a ‘Torgo,’ which is a shotglass of coffee. The Torgo is not consumed however, it is merely set out in anticipation of the Master.
What goes in a Gamera? – Turtle Meat! Turtle Meat and 151. On fire. Served neat, of course.
The Monster-a-Go-Go is a drink that results in you being found several miles away, naked, and of normal size.
A Devil Doll – is a kind of ham daquiri. Or porquiri, if you will.
I don’t drink very often myself, but I do like a good Prince of Space. In fact, I like it VERY MUCH.
Invasion of the Neptune Men – Tarantula tequilla and raw fish, served in a short glass.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies – was based on a drink, actually.
Master Ninja – comes in two variations. One is a california sake with a beer back.
The Leech Woman – Irish whiskey and Red Bull.
The Squirm – is typically served with a curly straw, but don’t eat the garnish.
Track of the Moon Beast – is a very old drink, and is made from chicken…corn…green peppers…onions…and tequila!
The Riding With Death, with a high volume of Wild Turkey, is an extremely mellow and delicious beverage, but it tends to reappear later in the night, much to your regret.
Unfortunately, although every bartender we consulted had heard of it, not one could track down a recipe for the Robert Denby.
Adam Chance – Absinthe with an aluminum foil twist.
Bart Fargo – A drink developed for peaceful purposes, the Bart Fargo is surprisingly jazzy and smooth, and ordered by the dozen.
The Starfighter – Starts off as a simple scotch & soda, but the bartender keeps adding more soda while you’re working on it.
The Alien from LA – Malibu with a vegemite garnish.
The Mitchell – Just a shot and a beer. The shot is melted butter.
It goes without saying, the Agent Double 007 is stirred, not shaken.
Red Zone Cuba – The opposite of a Cuba Libre, so…sprite and vodka.
Cavedweller – Boilermaker served in a leather mug.
The Thing That Just Couldn’t Die – is a spanish wine aged in a hat box with a stick and black powder infusion.
The Human Duplicator – A double shot. The first is tequila in a holey condom. The second, tequila again, with a condom floating in it. (See? It’s reversed.)
Puma Man – Brown ale with agave nectar and benadryl, onion slice garnish.
Future War – a bloody mary served in a melted candle with a plastic dinosaur garnish.
Manos is not actually a drink, it’s the name given to the round of applause given to the person who can stay awake for 90 minutes after drinking The Master without touching the Torgo.
Brute Man – Grape juice and everclear, served with a chicken wing. Of TOMORROW!
Posture Pals vary in content by region, but they’re always served straight up.
Touch of Satan – Raspberry chocolate martini with a rock and a goldfish.
A Last Clear Chance – A Boilermaker with Gentle Pressure.
Horror of Party Beach – A Long Island Iced Tea with hotdog in it. Salt on the rim, naturally.
A Bride of the Monster is just about any drink as long as you’re lonely and slow when you drink it.
Attack of the Eye Creatures – A delightful themed drink sampler in which every drink has just a kiss of nougat!
A Sampo – is the perfect choice for a classy lady looking for something to wear on a night out of MST-boozin’.
Incredible Melting Man – A glass of Bailey’s served in a dribble glass.
The Giant Leech – Sucks. Not worth making. (High-fives all around!)
A Tormented – Champagne and seaweed.
The Rosdower – A tidal wave of kahlua!
The Mr. B Natural – Just seltzer. With an LSD Chaser.
And the Beatnik is always the final drink of the night – it killed that fat barkeep!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: I don’t think I can ever love you. Stranger: why not You: too strange. Stranger: what do u want to do then You: I’m not opposed to a civil union, for the tax and insurance benefits as much as anything. Stranger: north korea You: and maybe, in time, love will come, but it’s got a long road ahead. Stranger: china? You: Also: separate beds. You snore a lot, and you were never a satisfying lover. You: I’m sorry to unload these, well, blunt truths all at once, but the therapist says it’s the only way. Stranger: are u crazy You: If not for the kids, I think I would have left you in the 1980s. Stranger: danm your old You: After that thing with you and the stewardess. Stranger: she was hot Stranger: do u love samuel l jackson? You: damn you terry! damn you! why couldn’t you ever say -I- was hot? You: always with that stewardess! Stranger: im sorry but i knew u had a thing for samuel You: And don’t think that I don’t know you put our son up to suggesting we name the dog lacey. He just -happened- to come up with her name when we were naming the beagle? You: are you kidding me, terry? Stranger: i love beagles Stranger: i use to have one Stranger: it ran away You: It was a good dog, but I hated it so much because of you. Stranger: why Stranger: beagles are so good You: As if you didn’t know! Stranger: i loved our beagle You: It never ran away, Terry. It’s buried under that stupid “time capsule” you put in the back yard. You: If only you loved me the way you loved that damned beagle! Stranger: but jen Stranger: i love u You: don’t you ‘but jen’ me! Stranger: jen please You: it’s always the same with you! Stranger: stop doing this to me You: oh, that’s rich, I’m the one doing this to you now?
You: I suppose I’m the one making you run around with that tramp on the third weekend of every month then? Stranger: but i always gave u what you wanted You: I didn’t want all that bullshit, I wanted a husband! Stranger: how did you know Stranger: i am your husband Stranger: i gave you everything! Stranger: cars, jewelry, i put food on your table! You: I wanted someone who would spend time with the kids in the evening, I wanted someone who would clean beagle leavings out of the yard, I wanted someone who cared! Stranger: and I pleased you in bed like how you wanted it Stranger: Baby, I WORK, i cant spend time with the kids every evening Stranger: do you want me to quit my job? Stranger: What did you do? nothing Stranger: all you did was stay home all day and do who knows what Stranger: for all i know you could have had someone over You: I can count every time you tried to ‘please’ me, because we have another mouth to feed for each and every one! You: our so-called sex life is old enough to vote! You: And terry: I -never- cheated on you. Stranger: so you were acting? i thought u enjoyed are sex life You: And you know what’s worse? I wish I had! You: “Don’t sink down to his level” they told me. You: “Make him rise to yours” they said. What a load of trash! Stranger: Your friends are stupid You: oh, and the poker club is some kind of brain trust?! Stranger: i have a secret Stranger: your friend jessica…. Stranger: she jumped on me… You: pshh, who hasn’t she jumped on? All the more reason the separate beds are a good idea. You: I knew she’d done it when I saw you scratching more than usual. Stranger: you probably have it too… You: the hell I do! Stranger: you do, i saw you shave it off You: more proof you don’t know what the hell is going on down there. You: I don’t even do your laundry in our washer anymore. I don’t need the kids getting a nasty surprise like that. You: And speaking of surprises, that bottle of scotch was for my dad’s birthday next month. Stranger: well your dad is a jackass and he doesnt deserve scotch Stranger: he deserves shitty beer You: if you’re going to take it, at least have the balls to own up to it, It’s pretty obvious when the wax seal is broken. Stranger: Yes I drank it You: and it’s just your damn money that’s going to go to a fresh bottle anyway. Stranger: so what big deal You: the “big deal” is that you’re going around with your ’8 months sober’ pin and it’s a damned lie You: …as anyone who has been in a room with you and that breath can tell in an instant. You: it makes a mockery of the program, is what it does. You: I wouldn’t be surprised to see you’re back into the nosecandy again too. Stranger: im cutting off your funds You: Is THAT why you don’t want me to see the bank accounts anymore? Stranger: I GOT FIRED Stranger: okay Stranger: there secrets out Stranger: i didnt know how to tell you Stranger: bank funds? there are no bank funds You: I could tell two months ago when they bulldozed your old office, you bastard! You: you coward! Stranger: and you still buy the kids barbies and toys left and right Stranger: and you come home with shopping bags You: if YOU can pretend, and YOU can still drive 28 miles each day as though you’re roundtripping to the office, then SO CAN I! Stranger: WHERE do you get this money? Stranger: i NEED to know one thing… its samuel isnt it You: bah, who needs money? Barbie wants to be free. You: And I told you – I DIDN’T CHEAT! You: I could’ve. Oh MAN, I could’ve, but I didn’t! Stranger: U NEVER told me where that disgusting THING came from on your upper lip You: Terry, that’s a birthmark. Stranger: That is no birthmark Stranger: DONT BS with me You: show a little class for once, yeah? I’ve had it since you’ve known me. Stranger: A birthmark does not suddenly appear overnight You: Get out the yearbook, it’s always been there. Stranger: What about you shaving? You: What ABOUT my shaving? Stranger: We havent had sex in months You: damn straight we haven’t. And you’re not getting anywhere near me since that Jessica nonsense. You: It’s not like Rhonda, Rhoda, Seamus, and Eamonn need another little sibling anyhow. Stranger:why would you shave
You: It makes me feel beautiful, okay? It makes me feel young, and desirable, and like a woman You: like all the things you DON’T make me feel! Stranger: I GAVE you everything you wanted? Stranger: I DID didnt I You: NO!!!! Stranger: I am taking the kids to my moms You: What you gave me was gin. And a ride home after the football game. And Rhoda. Stranger: I cant have the kids live with such a crazy monster like you Stranger: Rhoda was your fault you danm hoe You: That whore? MY children aren’t going anywhere near her place, and you sure as HELL aren’t taking them out of state! I’ll call the cops! Stranger: YOU ruined my COLLEGE education Stranger: I HAD TO DROP OUT becuase of you You: You ruined my high school education! Stranger: WHY did you have to throw yourself onto me You: You should’ve gone to jail, not to the altar! You: I’m sure I DIDN’T but if I had to guess, the same gin that kept me from remembering that night probably kept me from being able to stand up straight Stranger: jen you were a silly hoe in high school You: you’re out of your mind Stranger: you even got with mr. jackson, out PE teacher Stranger: our* You: Hah! You thought that rumor was about me? That was totally Jen Pora. You: You wasted your whole life chasing after the wrong skirt! Stranger: NO that WAS YOU Stranger: Ms. Hoe, class of 75 Stranger: that was your nickname remember? You: in your dreams, you horrible he-slut! You: and anyway, it’s spelled Hoer. Stranger: Go walk the streets where you belong You: not like taking YOUR name was so much better. Stranger: I was an allstar football player in HS and could have gone all the way if it werent for you You: I’d say you’ve been all the way plenty of times, with and without me. Stranger: Can we please work this out? You: You know what Kim told me at mahjong this week? “If a woman sleeps around, she’s called a slut, but what do you call a man that sleeps with anything that moves? Terry!” You: Believe me, I’d -like- to work it out, I just don’t know how to stop fighting with you. Stranger: Kim is a slut Stranger: all your friends are sluts Stranger: i guess they learned from you You: See? You: THIS is why we can’t work it out! You: Why would you say something like that? Stranger: Because you always start these fights Stranger: Why cant you just stop You: Is it the booze again? Are you on the booze? You: You know there are 12 steps in AA right? Don’t you ever wonder about the back 11? Stranger: I AM NOT AN ALCHOLIC Stranger: YOUR FATHER IS Stranger: AND SAME WITH YOUR MOTHER You: My FATHER is a WAR HERO, and he deserves all the comfort this nation can afford him! Stranger: dont give me that go to AA bs Stranger: if anything you should do AA You: good god, maybe those back 11 steps can wait, since you clearly are nowhere near mastering step 1 You: I’ll try to let the horrible things you’ve said pass, Terry, because I know you don’t mean them, and I know you don’t even know what you’re saying right now. Stranger: i knower sorryy baby ive been a horibble husband Stranger: immdurnk You: but I’ll tell you, when rhonda and rhoda and seamus and eamonn and I go to mass on sunday, I’ve got half a mind to not even pray for you. Stranger: your rightt Stranger: Dont tell the kids whats going on with us You: the kids aren’t stupid. or deaf. Stranger: seamus is retarted You: and eamonn’s almost 13 now. Smurf dolls are no longer an acceptable bribe in exchange for his emotions Stranger: do you know why? becuase you drank heavily with him in you You: Seamus is dyslexic, he’s not retarded. Stranger: WAHT EVER Stranger: SAME THING Stranger: HES STUPID BECAUSE OF YOU You: my real regret was the time I drank heavily with YOU in me. Stranger: DONT BLAME THE DRANK Stranger: blame the hoe inside of you You: Terry, I think you need to calm down Stranger: I CANT Stranger: IM PISSED Stranger: YOU always give me shit Stranger: I DONT KNOW how long i can take it You: Well than have some sanka and sober the hell up You: I’m done with being the neighbors’ entertainment for one night Stranger: i need to go Stranger: go out of the country Stranger: away from you You: we’re lucky if they haven’t called the cops already, the way you’re yelling Stranger: i cant stand you You: Well then call a cab Stranger: im driving You: I can’t have you wrecking the Nova You: I need to be able to drive the kids to school Stranger: the nova is already a wreck Stranger: tell them to walk You: Well at least it still has all its windows, unlike the taurus. Stranger: i have to go Stranger: for real lol You: you keep your lols to yourself, buddy Stranger: lol this was interesting You: fine then You: go You: and don’t step in beagle leavings on your way out Stranger: ill be back im going out for a smoke You: oh great. Great. Now you’re smoking again. You: I thought we agreed you were stopping. You: It’s bad for the kids, it’s bad for me, it’s even bad for you. You: even if I don’t know why I should care about THAT Stranger: I SMOKE TO relieve the stress you cause me You: I cause you stress because you SMOKE You: my kids don’t need that poison in their lungs Stranger: i dont smoke in front of the kids Stranger: i would never harm the kids You: and I don’t need that stink all over my porch, and the clothes you bring in my house Stranger: where r u from Stranger: it was a fun talk Stranger: have a nice day jen i love u
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: should the cock be capitalized? You: you must be SO lonely You: poor dear. Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: You’re talking to a ‘bot, moron! Stranger: I am You: You’re talking to a ‘bot, moron! Stranger: I don’t believe you You: You’re talking to a ‘bot, moron! Stranger: fuck you You: You’re talking to a ‘bot, moron! Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hey You: I don’t have time to chat, I lost my keys. Stranger: well that blows You: yeah, I know. I don’t really have time to talk to strangers. Stranger: o ok then. maybe we can be friends then? You: I’m sorry. I really do need a friend right now, but I don’t have time to type. I’m looking for those darn keys! Connection asploded.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hey You: oh crp I jut pilled my drink on the keybord Stranger: hahahhaha Stranger: sad You: the to ro on the left ren’t orking Stranger: sucks You: thi i terrible Stranger: i’m sorry Stranger: well asl? You: I till hve hlf pper to rite, too Stranger: i’m sorry You: I hve to think of ord ith different letter no Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hello! You: Welcome to the text adventure! You: Do you want to get on the highway or take surface roads? You: surface roads are like local sidestreets, but the highway might go to the danger zone! Stranger: highway! You: You’re now on the highway. You: Oh man, it’s backed up for miles! You: Do you want to turn on the radio or leave it off? Stranger: Hmm. What kind of car do I have? Stranger: I want the radio on You: You’re driving a chevy nova! You: The radio is on. Stranger: FFFFUUU You: Do you want the hard rock music, or the classical birdsongs? You: Your car advances seven feet. Stranger: Classical birdsongs. The traffic will stress me out, so the music will have a calming effect You: You’re listening to classical birdsongs You: Your car advances seven feet. You: Suddenly, the music is interrupted! Stranger: Oh no! You: An announcer breaks in with a special report! You: He needs more money to continue the classical birdsongs! Stranger: Damn. You: Do you want to pledge at the dollar a day level or the 13 dollars a week bonus gold member level? Stranger: Gold member, of course You: Your car advances seven feet. You: A jogger passes the car. You: You call the classical birdsong station. Stranger: Good You: Suddenly, the battery on your phone explodes! You: ***you have died*** Stranger: Ah, how unfortunate You: ***you scored 14 out of a possible 1300 points*** Stranger: twas a good run, though Stranger: only 14 points, darn Stranger: thanks for letting me play! Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: oi You: Shhh. You: don’t say anything You: let’s just enjoy the moment. Stranger: sure Stranger: finish? You: ssh! Stranger: sory You: just take deep breaths, and think of england. Stranger: yes Stranger: ….. Stranger:
what I do now? Your conversational partner has disconnected.
So there’s this Omegle thing, which is about the same as the hyperintelligent notArt chat robot from like seven years ago. Unlike the robot, which secretly connected you with another person also trying to talk to the supposed robot, this service admits that it is connecting you with an arbitrary stranger.
The important thing to note here is that this service is based on the INTERNET, so certain established theories immediately come into effect. That being said….
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is ‘I’ve just bought a car’ and 10 is ‘Which one of these drinks is mine?’ how lonely would you say you feel right now? Stranger: hello You: Please, just a number. Stranger: 1 You: Ah excellent. You: You may begin conversation now. Stranger: yeah You: Converse at any moment. Stranger: where are u ? You: The system is ready for you, you may begin. Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is ‘I’ve just bought a car’ and 10 is ‘Which one of these drinks is mine?’ how lonely would you say you feel right now? Stranger: hellow You: Please, just a number. Stranger: english? spanish? portuguese? You: You may use numerals. Stranger: sorry Stranger: but i am brasilian Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is ‘I’ve just bought a car’ and 10 is ‘Which one of these drinks is mine?’ how lonely would you say you feel right now? Stranger: o You: I should inform you, time is a factor in calibrating the system. Stranger: 7 You: That is staggeringly lonely indeed. You: The system is ready. You: You may begin a conversation. Stranger: I will just blade at 45 degrees be fore disenGAGING You: Feel free to begin a conversation at your discretion. Stranger: YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY WEAPON!!!! You: You may start conversing at your leisure. Stranger: OMG IT SPINS! Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS You: well what are you waiting for? Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: … Stranger: yes You: … Stranger: i can make tornados You: … Stranger: yea You: … Stranger: its true You: … Stranger: oh yes You: … Stranger: i do not lie You: … Stranger: ooooh You: … Stranger: gi joe You: … Stranger: last one theres a penispump You: … Stranger: h Stranger: ha You: … Stranger: i got you You: … Stranger: you should of done two i said two things You: … Stranger: you fucked up You: … Stranger: hahahaha You: … Stranger: df Stranger: s You: … Stranger: You: … Stranger: see i did 3 You: … Stranger: assfuck You: … Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Ugh, you again. You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: … Stranger: hi You: … Stranger: are we still on for tonight You: . . . Stranger: fuck you You: . . . Stranger: fhfhften Stranger: ntnnth You: . . . Stranger: hjtnt Stranger: tnj Stranger: njt Stranger: jn Stranger: jnhtnj Stranger: yht Stranger: jnth You: . . . Stranger: jn Stranger: te Stranger: jnt Stranger: jn Stranger: t Stranger: thj Stranger: jnh Stranger: htmn You: ia! You: ia! Stranger: just log off now You: fhtagn! Stranger: ntyn Stranger: i see you right now You: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Stranger: degyveyeyfeghrugherruhekhefhkujfhjhukjghjfhsjkkgdhgjrethrwkthwjffhrhwkuvthvuhkuvht2rugvh2 You: moo Stranger: grr You: mulhaha! Stranger: up yours You: zwaHOOOM Stranger: homo You: … Stranger: asl You: gfy Stranger: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You: zoper yaha joejojo Stranger: are you a guy or girl You: shub niggurath! Your conversational partner has disconnected.
ou’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: 19/m You: I -will- win this one. You: I am a winner. You: ME You: Look, I’m winning right now. Stranger: aw man Stranger: i lost You: That’s one for me. Stranger: eh papi eh pai You: fhtagn! Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: ho money: it’s yo money You: [denied] Stranger: what are you son? You: [EXPLETIVE!] Stranger: are you a whiteliberal? You: [OBSCENITY DELETED!] Stranger: i fart comics You: [ACTUALLY KIND OF CLEVER RACIAL SLUR OMITTED!] Your conversational partner has disconnected.
It’s new video time! We spent around an hour shooting this last weekend, and I put it together this weekend. It’s about Amy, and the tricks she plays on her neighborhood.
It so happens that we have all the right props (literally, props) to be entered into the YouTube Project: Direct 2009 contest. I imagine that for any number of reasons, this isn’t quite the kind of video they’re looking for, but there’s something that seems very silly to me about a direct-to-youtube video with a credited Director of Photography and three Key Grips, so maybe it should be.
If it turns out that it is, then I assure you, you’ll hear about it when the voting starts. (Judges narrow down the contestants who are then voted on by the Internets) Until then, I recommend you watch it anywhere else.
Funny or Die – if you like it, you can vote it ‘funny’ here.
UCBComedy – Everyone in this has UCB ties! And sweatshirts!
YouTube – Because I thought it’d be fun to enter a contest
It’s a little bit heartbreaking to spend time adjusting colors and finessing a video just to have the YouTube automatic video ruining system add its own ‘washed out’ color settings and a light blur over top of everything. It’s almost enough to understand why 1) most internet videos look terrible 2) people don’t bother with white balancing or microphones. I mean, macroblocking? Really? Even in ‘high-quality’ mode? It’s a series of stills, for pete’s sake. (EDIT: I’m told that there’s a longer wait for the site to process things into high-quality playback mode, and that it ought to look better sooner or later)
Anyway, I hope you like it, and that you get the film nerd joke in the middle. It was fun to do, and I’d shoot this style again sometime. Now if you’ll excuse me, I actually finished something, and a little bit of sunshineis in order. (I was going to go for an irony-free closing here, but I stumped the MTV site)
