The delightful Mystery Science Theater 3000 is twenty-one Earth years of age.  And, as a citizen of the United State of Minnesota, it’s now old enough to drink.

In order to celebrate, the good, kind, friendly people of DAPCentral’s IRC channel have prepared a list of MST-themed drinks to be served at your MST-themed drinking parties.  Thanks and credit go to the likes of Minstrel, SoRefined, Candover, Moogle, Rhesus, Rumm,  and Fnord.

• Go ahead and start with a Killer Shrew.
• Ring of Terror – vodka, lime and angostura bitters in tonic water and over ice.
• Catalina Caper  - KeKe Beach, rum, and mango juice.
• Space Mutiny – Blue curacao with a raspberry vodka float.
• Screaming Skull – Scotch, dry vermouth, triple sec with a twist of lemon.
• The High School Bigshot – induces suicidal tendencies, so the recipe is not reproduced here, for your own safety.

When indulging in a night of MST-Shots, it is customary to set out a ‘Torgo,’ which is a shotglass of coffee.  The Torgo is not consumed however, it is merely set out in anticipation of the Master.

• What goes in a Gamera? – Turtle Meat!  Turtle Meat and 151.  On fire.  Served neat, of course.
• A Laserblast?  - That’s gin and grapefruit juice.
• The Eegah – a simple, single shot of Jeppson’s Malort.
• The Monster-a-Go-Go is a drink that results in you being found several miles away, naked, and of normal size.
• A Devil Doll – is a kind of ham daquiri.  Or porquiri, if you will.

I don’t drink very often myself, but I do like a good Prince of Space.  In fact, I like it VERY MUCH.

• Invasion of the Neptune Men – Tarantula tequilla and raw fish, served in a short glass.
• The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies – was based on a drink, actually.
• Master Ninja – comes in two variations.  One is a california sake with a beer back.
• The Leech Woman – Irish whiskey and Red Bull.
• The Squirm – is typically served with a curly straw, but don’t eat the garnish.
• Track of the Moon Beast – is a very old drink, and is made from chicken…corn…green peppers…onions…and tequila!

The Riding With Death, with a high volume of Wild Turkey, is an extremely mellow and delicious beverage, but it tends to reappear later in the night, much to your regret.

Unfortunately, although every bartender we consulted had heard of it, not one could track down a recipe for the Robert Denby.

• Adam Chance – Absinthe with an aluminum foil twist.
• Bart Fargo – A drink developed for peaceful purposes, the Bart Fargo is surprisingly jazzy and smooth, and ordered by the dozen.
• The Starfighter – Starts off as a simple scotch & soda, but the bartender keeps adding more soda while you’re working on it.
• The Alien from LA – Malibu with a vegemite garnish.
• The Mitchell – Just a shot and a beer.  The shot is melted butter.

It goes without saying, the Agent Double 007 is stirred, not shaken.

• Red Zone Cuba – The opposite of a Cuba Libre, so…sprite and vodka.
• Cavedweller – Boilermaker served in a leather mug.
• The Thing That Just Couldn’t Die –  is a spanish wine aged in a hat box with a stick and black powder infusion.
• The Human Duplicator – A double shot.  The first is tequila in a holey condom.  The second, tequila again, with a condom floating in it.  (See?  It’s reversed.)
• Puma Man – Brown ale with agave nectar and benadryl, onion slice garnish.
• Future War – a bloody mary served in a melted candle with a plastic dinosaur garnish.

Manos is not actually a drink, it’s the name given to the round of applause given to the person who can stay awake for 90 minutes after drinking The Master without touching the Torgo.

• Brute Man – Grape juice and everclear, served with a chicken wing.  Of TOMORROW!
• Posture Pals vary in content by region, but they’re always served straight up.
• Touch of Satan – Raspberry chocolate martini with a rock and a goldfish.
• A Last Clear Chance – A Boilermaker with Gentle Pressure.
• Horror of Party Beach – A Long Island Iced Tea with hotdog in it.  Salt on the rim, naturally.

A Bride of the Monster is just about any drink as long as you’re lonely and slow when you drink it.

• Attack of the Eye Creatures – A delightful themed drink sampler in which every drink has just a kiss of nougat!
• A Sampo – is the perfect choice for a classy lady looking for something to wear on a night out of MST-boozin’.
• Incredible Melting Man – A glass of Bailey’s served in a dribble glass.
• The Giant Leech – Sucks.  Not worth making.  (High-fives all around!)
• A Tormented – Champagne and seaweed.
• The Rosdower – A tidal wave of kahlua!
• The Mr. B Natural – Just seltzer. With an LSD Chaser.

And the Beatnik is always the final drink of the night – it killed that fat barkeep!

Surviving Disaster ended last month.  Better Radio rages on.  Applied for UCB’s Maude and Beta teams.  Writing a lot of things.  Booked holiday plane tickets.  Watched some movies.  Watching movies faster than I’m writing 2 liners about ‘em though, so I’m just going to do that in sections for a little while.

-The Last Temptation of Christ – Courtesy of the hulu.  Started off funny.  Became less so.

-Let the Right One In – Cool, especially for explaining what happens to a vampire who ISN’T invited in.  I may have been late to the scene, but at least I saw it before the remake.

-Secret Beyond the Door… – Not a very good secret, frankly.  The orchestra liked this movie significantly more than I did.

-Closed Mondays and Your Face and Kiwi! -Animated shorts, like you read about, presuming you read about short films, or animation, or something.  Maybe a general interest publication with a particular focus this month on award-winning short subjects.  Kiwi was great.

-Shooter – I guess if they explained the shock reveal of the last couple minutes at the beginning when it was equally valid, it wouldn’t be much of a movie.  Certainly, Marky Mark wouldn’t've had to commit the dozens of murders he ought to be prosecuted for instead.

-Battle for Terra – Humans are the invaders! Oh no!  It wasn’t clear why flying creatures need flying machines, or what they have to fear from falling.I think it looked good except for the humans, but it didn’t stick with me.

-The Girlfriend Experience – A Soderbergh experiment.  Better than Bubble.  Making the story non-linear just seemed like a technique to spread a thin story…thinner?  That can’t be the analogy.  That’s not something you’d do on purpose.

-Toy Story and Toy Story 2 – in 3D!  Hadn’t seen these before, but part 3 is coming.  Except now I don’t want to see it.  Part 2 was almost exactly the same movie the first one was, with the same jokes, the same one song, same…everything.  Seems like a waste.

-Zombieland – Yuck.  This is to the zombie genre as timecrimes was to time travel.  It’s the smallest possible amount of story they could bother with and still technically be a zombie movie.  Just terrible.

-The Informant! - Hey, this was really good.  Soderbergh’s 90s by way of the 70s.  Lots of great comics in cameo roles, cool story, funny, well done, this is the opposite of cinematic warm mayonnaise.

-The Strangers – Worth it for one long genuinely creepy shot of Liv Tyler on the phone, with one of the strangers hanging around in the house, unbeknownst to her.

-Redbelt – I heard sometime later that this is a movie people don’t like.  Those people are wrong.  Fancy Mamet-y plotting unfolds, honor is preserved.

-KRAA! The Sea Monster – Truly a misunderstood horrible monster of the sea.  Courtesy of Doc Mock’s Movie Mausoleum.  (still, better than the sequel, KRAAmer Vs. KRAAmer)