04.29.08

Other people took care of these ideas for me.

Posted in Comedy Jokes at 6:38 pm by Rob Schultz

Sometimes a notion occurs, but it’s not strong enough to bother making it a reality. But then someone else does, so you can sort of appreciate that.

  • LOL Grues from the oft-excellent Zarf
  • and

  • Someone else who works in modern fancy video gadgetry saw the posters for P2 and had a different idea.
  • 04.28.08

    “The producers have decided to go in another direction.”

    Posted in Work at 3:27 pm by Rob Schultz

    That’s LA slang for ‘you’re fired,’ and it has a particular feature that means it is used in situations where it also means “we know you’ve been working for us, and we’re going to keep that work, but we’d prefer not to pay for it.”

    In a purely ‘fluent English speaker’ sense, it can make sense when referring to creative pursuits, like writing, or acting, or mousetrap design.

    When it’s used to fire someone from a technical job, and the direction the producers are moving away from is an offer for them to pay as much or as little as they choose…I’m not sure WHAT it means.

    04.17.08

    #1,255: Lars and the Real Girl

    Posted in Movies at 2:14 pm by Rob Schultz

    Kinda didn’t want to see this one.

    Notes: Players supported and “Yes, And”‘d beautifully. The initiation was a little flat, so by the time the game appeared, we were already a little too far into crazytown. Blue on blue and all that. Good heightening while still keeping it real, and the edit was a good spot, since it couldn’t go any further up than death. Remember not to kill your scene partner! In particular for Gus, try to work on the denials, and to Lars, we didn’t mind too much when you ignored Gus’ denying, but finding a way to justify might lead to even stronger choices.

    04.12.08

    Comprehensive!

    Posted in Comedy Jokes at 3:28 am by Rob Schultz

    I appreciate the level-headed debate implied by the Neutral POV Dispute tag.

    Click to visit the Wikipedaterium!

    04.08.08

    Tips for bolder living, #39

    Posted in Life at 12:09 am by Rob Schultz

    When volunteering in a crowd, it is best to assume that any pointing / choosing / calling upon made in your general direction refers to you specifically. This includes when positioned directly behind and directly ahead of other would-be volunteers, and when the chooser is blindfolded. This simple act of cheating will greatly increase your chances of selection or reception of a desirable situation.

    This has been another tip for BOLDER living!

    04.06.08

    Season 7

    Posted in Movies at 11:31 pm by Rob Schultz

    It seems to me, I might say, that season 7 is not a good season for a TV show. Maybe it’s self-evident – that much time and a show can run out of steam, the original creators got bored and left or were forced out, but if a show even got that far, it must’ve had something going for it.

    One might argue, successfully, that season 7 was among the best ever produced on The Simpsons, but most shows, judged exclusively on #7? Not renewed for the coming year. Some shows even improve in quality after getting the miserable seventh out of the way…

    The list so far – confirmed as having poor seventh seasons: Homicide: Life on the Street, The X-Files, Mystery Science Theater 3000, CSI, The Sopranos (6 part 2, 7, whathaveyou), Smallville, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cops, Law and Order: SVU, Saturday Night Live and Friends.

    Rumored to have had successful seventh seasons: Stargate: SG-1, South Park, Simpsons, Seinfeld…. we’ve almost got an S-exception to the rule.

    As of yet neither confirmed nor denied (mostly sitcoms or WB fare): M*A*S*H, Cheers, Mad About You, Full House, Charmed, Dr. Who, Gilmore Girls (remember, we’re saying relative to each show’s other seasons, not against all shows ever), The Cosby Show, Gunsmoke, Home Improvement, Walker (Texas Ranger) or Dr. Quinn (Medicine Woman), ER, 90210, Macgyver, Dallas, LA Law, Bonanza, Knots Landing, Are you afraid of the Dark?, Tales from the Crypt, various Star Trek shows, and probably a bunch of reality shows – Survivor, Real World, Road Rules, American Idol…

    Shows on the rain-slick precipice of DOOM: 24, Curb your Enthusiasm, Mythbusters, The Shield, and Ice-T’s Rap School.

    Anyone got any to add or to confirm or deny?

    Oh, brain…

    Posted in Comedy Jokes, Life, Movies at 4:49 am by Rob Schultz

    So I had a dream that tonight’s the big night, the official competition that a team I’m on / class group I’m in has been training for weeks to compete in has been practicing for. As far as I can tell, it’s been a recurring dream, in which I’ve actually been progressing in time – it’s not the SAME dream each time, but each time it comes around we do practice this event (which is similar to evacuating someone on a stretcher), and other things have been developing as we go…as the ‘season’ or series progresses.

    But what if it’s not? What if the idea that it’s the conclusion to a series of dreams is all a notion from this lone dream? I don’t have any particular memory of pondering the other practices… I guess if we’re going to get into that, I’d prefer the notion that this right now is the recurring dream other people are having….oh, brain!

    So maybe I kinda do ‘get’ Blade Runner…maybe it just turns out that I’m not a sci-fi fan…

    04.03.08

    Six!

    Posted in Life at 6:35 pm by Rob Schultz

    I was riding my bike yesterday, like I do. I was undecided about whether to walk or ride, since I was just going to the Best Buy, and then later planned to ride over to the UCB theater. I rode, as exposed in the first sentence. I tend to ride in the street, not on the sidewalk, because the sidewalk is full of people walking and riding bikes and waiting for buses and slowing down a more determined bike rider (like me!). I’m cautious, I’ve got lights, I follow traffic laws and often cross streets with crosswalks instead of presuming to merge on a bike into a busy left-turn lane. I presume to save or prolong my own life in this way. Yesterday, while riding my bike, I saved another life too. It was a small dog. It’s owner, some socialite-lookin’ would-be Paris Hiltony blonde enormous-sunglasses-and-heels-wearing creature was gabbing away on a mobile phone, back to the street, as her little dog wandered around on its leash and into the street. I didn’t hit the dog. I probably would’ve gotten hurt if I did, as it’d be a big bump. But I couldn’t make a sharp turn into cars speeding along, and I couldn’t quite jump the curb at such a narrow angle. I scraped up my palms and a knee, sprained my wrists, and snapped the cable on my $5 odometer. Now I’ve gotta get the brakes fixed on the car AND the bike – the rear brake cable was also jostled loose when the front wheel spun around backwards. For her part, little miss starlet-to-be did a good job scooping up the dog and running away in heels when some guy and a bike wiped out right next to her. But I’ll just bet if I hit that dog nobody would have run away, there’d've been hell to pay. So it goes.

    ONE!

    I notice lately, especially around shopping centers and trendier parts of town, there is a certain style to carrying one’s ipod (and here in LA, everyone has an ipod, even the thieves, as we know.). In the more hipster kinds of places, they remain unobtrusive, perhaps with an earphone cable hanging out, or sometimes neatly threaded through the shirt. But in the trendy section, it’s carried between the thumb and one finger, display out, at chest height. Sort of where their chest-graphic would go, if they were care bears instead of ladies in expensive clothes, interested in advertising their song choices or ipod ownership.

    TWO!

    On multiple occasions, I’ve had the dubious fortune of being passed on the sidewalks of Santa Monica Blvd. by an old guy in a flannel shirt on a Rascal. As he passes you, or anyone else on the sidewalk, no matter how close of a pass it is, he shouts “Outta the way, asshole!” Everyone he passes gets their own yell, so one mightn’t take it as personally as it seems at first. Also, he has a blue parrot on his shoulder. A real live bird that looks at you, but does not – so far as I know – shout ‘asshole!’ at strangers. Yet.

    THREE!

    Walking into the Best Buy today (I’m determined, see?), a comedian stopped me and said hello. Truly unnecessary, since I didn’t spot him at first, but very cool, and good for one’s ego.

    FOUR!

    Apparently, someone’s been murdered somewhere around here lately. There are signs on lampposts and such, offering a $57k reward for information on the murderer. It was an older gentleman, out for his ‘nightly walk,’ and apparently stabbed to death. That part’s sad, but not strikingly unusual. The unusual, bastardly thing is that someone’s going around sticking up self-defense class advertisements next to the reward posters.

    FIVE!

    And back to antagonistic traffic, last week walking back from Trader Joe’s, a motorist was upset that he could not turn right because the car in front of him was not willing to mow down pedestrians in the crosswalk. He honked his horn. “Beep!” I said. He honked more. “Beep! Beep beep,” I said. After the third such exchange it became clear that his window was down, that he could hear me clearly, and that he was now not-turning-right even though the way was clear because he was very pointedly honking at me. I didn’t stop though, already having gotten this far. I didn’t look at him either, but I smiled more. Russell assures me this is the course of action you want to take with someone you’ve placed into that kind of losing situation. And it didn’t get me shot this time!

    One, two, three, four, five, SIX!

    That’s enough of that for a while. Typing hurts.