11.22.07
Posted in Life at 7:38 am by Rob Schultz
As I recall, and can piece together from historical fact. I got the NES title Dragon Warrior for Christmas 1989. My dad and I played that one together a lot, and more accurately, he completed the game and I watched. Fair enough, I may have been too young to properly grasp everything going on in there anyhow.
On New Year’s Day, I recall us spending the entire day down in the basement, where the NES lived, chipping away at that game. At least all during the day up until dinner, which was a turkey-and-all-the-trimmings kind of spread, which my mom cooked while she watched the Macy’s parade and we hid out in the basement, hitting slimes with a stick, hoping to earn enough money for a copper sword in case a wolfman showed up on our way to Ridmular for keys.
Anyhow, just thinking of that. I hope everyone’s having a SpooooOOOooky ThaaaaAanksgiiiviing!
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11.21.07
Posted in Life at 3:02 am by Rob Schultz
This went well. Comrades and strangers alike told me so.
And then there was cake.
(FYI: A machete is not a liquid.)
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11.19.07
Posted in Life at 5:29 am by Rob Schultz
I would estimate, if I had to, that my apartment contains something on the order of 1500 hours of media that I have not yet consumed. That’s in terms of physical objects: books (hardback and paperback), DVDs (films and TV series), video games for various consoles (PS1, PS2, Gamecube, Wii). Factor in ISOs of PC games (those would be images of the CDs, because storing them as data is more convenient than lugging CDs around) and ROMs (which would be similar data, ripped from old videogame cartridge formats (2600, NES, Genesis, SNES, GBA, etc) and that number skyrockets. And still, corporations keep churning out more of this stuff.
..I wonder what kind of sponsorship deal I could get to start really tacking the load. Nike? Everlast? Craftsman Tools? Are you listening?
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11.13.07
Posted in Comedy Jokes, Life at 4:38 pm by Rob Schultz
SOLVED: The crickets get in through the vent/fan unit in the bathroom ceiling that can not be turned on!
SOLVED: The mysterious NY phone number (646.308.0915) that calls me thrice a day but never when I’m at liberty to answer belongs to the publication Videography, that would like to give me a free subscription!
SOLVED: The reason, according to a small note slipped into my food, that people admire me (and I had been wondering) is “for being such a charmer!”
SOLVED: You don’t really hear anything new from rock supergroup Moxy Früvous these days because they went ‘on hiatus!’ In the year 2000!
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Posted in Life at 12:05 am by Rob Schultz
Something I like to ask actors is if they can change color on command. More accurately, if they could blush if their character was embarrassed, that sort of thing. One actor suggested he could hold his breath and strain himself and whatnot to appear red-in-the-face before the start of a scene, but that’s only good for changing colors back to normal.
And the last time I remember experiencing that feeling was at least a year ago – I was walking out of the magazine section at borders with a great big stack of things I wanted to read instead of buying, just as one of the clerks I always saw there was heaving an even bigger stack of magazines found around the store back into their proper positions and sighing.
But one thing that is downright admirable about improvisers is the increased chance and indeed, frequent occurance of a performer making an error and publicly shaming themself. And it doesn’t matter, not really, and nobody seems to care (I don’t mind), but you do see people change color quite frequently onstage. Sometimes you can even see it in their eyes before it happens. They’re speaking, they haven’t said the thing that they don’t want to say yet, but it’s coming and it will not be stopped.
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11.05.07
Posted in Comedy Jokes at 12:48 pm by Rob Schultz
Jerry Lewis really was a take-no-prisoners kind of guy.
If you did something he didn’t like, there’s wouldn’t be a question and answer session after the screening of a major motion picture, no sir, he’d just stab you thirteen, fourteen times, right in the throat with an umbrella and not a trick umbrella either, believe you me. That’s all there was to it.
He was the kind of guy that didn’t read books. Not because he didn’t want to (which he didn’t), but because he didn’t *need* to. Do you know the procedure for an appendectomy? I guess it wasn’t in any of those fancy books you’ve read, smart guy. Jerry Lewis knew exactly how it went down and why? Because he talked to surgeons. He watched the procedure. He learned from the school of life!
But “books” taught me that Andy Kaufman once got thrown off of a college television station for accidentally smearing desserts on the nice clean backdrop of their set.
Oh!
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